Youth Sports and Parent Behavior: How to Create a Positive Culture on the Sidelines

Both of our kids play competitive sports. Spring and fall are all about baseball and softball, while winter brings basketball. I love watching them play, seeing their effort, and breaking down the games afterward—what went well, what they can improve on, and how they handled challenges. These conversations have become a powerful way to connect, reinforcing that we support them, that we’re paying attention, and that learning to take feedback is part of getting better.

From the start, we’ve emphasized that winning and losing at 11 years old isn’t what matters. What matters is giving 100% effort, being a great teammate, and developing skills in a competitive environment. Bonus points if they start to show leadership on the field, too.

But there’s one part of youth sports I don’t enjoy: watching adults behave in ways that make me embarrassed for them—and, worse, set a terrible example for their kids.

Arguing with a 13-year-old umpire who volunteered to officiate a game? That’s embarrassing. Screaming at kids, coaches, or referees over a call? That’s embarrassing. Acting like the outcome of a 9-year-old’s baseball game is life-or-death? Also embarrassing. This is literally excerpted from an email the tournament director has to send out to parents of the athletes.

And yet, what’s just as frustrating is the silence from other parents. When we allow this kind of behavior to go unchecked, we’re sending a message: that it’s acceptable. But it’s not.

If we want to raise kids who understand respect, self-control, and sportsmanship, then we—parents and coaches—have to be the ones to model it. That means shutting down poor behavior, holding each other accountable, and reminding everyone that youth sports exist to teach our kids, not to give adults a stage for bad behavior.

As parents, we have a responsibility to shape the environment our kids grow up in—especially when it comes to youth sports. That means creating a culture where bad behavior from adults is not tolerated. If you hear something inappropriate, speak up.

I’ve personally been disciplined by our Little League for calling out a coach who was "teaching" the umpire the strike zone after every pitch in a game of 9-year-olds.

Would I do it again?

Absolutely.

Because if we don’t stand up to bad behavior, we’re teaching our kids that it’s okay to let bullies run the show.

At the end of the day, these games are for our kids. They only get one childhood. Our job is to protect that experience, not poison it. So let them play their hearts out. Let them learn, grow, and develop the resilience that sports can teach. And as parents, let’s make sure we’re giving them the right example to follow.