Making Room for the Future: Letting Go of the Past
Moving a catering business after 20 years forced me to sort through old manuals, drums, and memories. A reflection on letting go of the past and making room for the future.
Why Everyone Needs a North Star (More Than Goals)
Looking back at old journals, I discovered the difference between goals and a North Star—and how life can move in the right direction even when plans don't.
Why Everyone Needs a North Star
Looking Back at the “Good Years”
Rereading my old journals revealed something I didn’t expect: the years I remembered as the “good years” didn’t feel that way while I was living them.
It’s easy to look back at 2018 and 2019 and see a highlight reel.
Revenue was strong.
The business was growing.
COVID hadn’t arrived yet.
From a distance, it looks like a time when everything was working.
But the journals told a different story. I've written before about how journaling can function as a time machine, allowing us to revisit earlier versions of ourselves.
The Business Wasn’t the Whole Story
One entry talked about poor sales projections for the upcoming week.
Another talked about employee issues.
Another talked about poor sleep and feeling frustrated.
I even found notes from a trip I took to Richmond to visit the highest-volume Apple Spice owner in the system because I was struggling with motivation.
That surprised me.
In my memory, those were the years when everything was clicking.
In reality, I was already asking myself a question:
What’s next?
The business was successful, but I was clearly experiencing some burnout.
Looking back, I realize I wasn’t searching for a way to make more money.
I was searching for a way to build a better life.
A Mission Statement I Forgot About
While digging through the journals, I found something I had completely forgotten.
A personal mission statement I wrote in 2019.
Not goals.
Not revenue targets.
Not a business plan.
A list of things that mattered to me:
- Continuous learning
- Being a loving father
- Loving my wife deeply
- Staying active
- Eating healthy foods
- Creating meaningful work
- Financial security
- Examining anxiety
- Rest and calm
- Remaining open-minded
- Self-discipline
Reading it felt strange.
Not because I had accomplished everything on the list.
Because I realized my life had moved closer to nearly all of it.
Goals vs. North Stars
One of my goals back then was to weigh 190 pounds.
I don’t weigh 190 pounds today.
If weight was the only scorecard, I failed.
But the real goal wasn’t 190 pounds.
The real goal was health.
Today I row, lift weights, hike, throw baseballs with my kids, move equipment without getting hurt, and recently had a healthy colonoscopy and good cholesterol numbers.
The goal was a measurement.
The North Star was vitality.
I think that’s true of many goals.
Revenue is a measurement.
Financial security is the North Star.
Goals mark progress.
North Stars provide direction.
A Conversation I Understand Better Now
One journal entry stood out more than any other.
In 2019, I drove to Richmond to visit Mac, one of the most successful Apple Spice owners in the country.
I expected to learn about growth.
Instead, he talked about something else.
Living below your means.
Enjoying the work.
Being present for your kids.
Having enough.
Creating a life that didn’t revolve entirely around business.
At the time, I don’t think I fully appreciated what he was saying.
Today it makes perfect sense.
He wasn’t talking about maximizing.
He was talking about aligning.
Why I Think Everyone Should Check Their Oil
One thing I’ve noticed is that my journaling has changed.
In 2019, most entries were about sales, customers, employees, and store issues.
Today my journals include family, music, hiking, cooking, books, gratitude, business, and reflections of how to carry stress.
The business is still there.
It’s just no longer the entire story.
That’s growth.
And it’s one reason I think simple exercises can be so valuable. Write a personal mission statement. Keep a daily gratitude list. Try a Rose-Thorn-Bud reflection by identifying one positive thing, one challenge, and one opportunity for growth from your day. None of these practices are complicated, but they can help you reconnect with what you value and notice what’s already good in your life.
Not because they solve problems.
Because they help us orient ourselves.
Every once in a while it’s worth stopping and asking:
What matters to me?
Where am I trying to go?
Am I moving closer to it?
The Value of a North Star
Looking back, the most valuable thing I did in 2019 wasn’t setting goals.
It was identifying a North Star that helped me move closer to the things that mattered, and perhaps more importantly, enjoy the life I have.
Life didn’t go according to plan.
COVID happened.
The business changed.
My priorities evolved.
The path was anything but straight.
But six years later, I can see that my life moved closer to many of the things I wrote down.
Not because I followed a perfect plan.
Because I had a direction.
When I was younger, I drifted too.
The difference is that I drifted without a compass.
Today I still wander, explore, change, and adapt.
But I know which way is north.
“Know what’s enough. Build what matters.”
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