What I Felt When a Grown Man Tried to Bully Me Online Youth baseball, Reddit, and the word “pussy.”
Not exactly the lineup I expected when I logged on.
It didn’t ruin my day.
But it did remind me what my kids might experience someday—
and how I want to help them handle it.
I was in a thread about coaching youth baseball.
One of those corners of the internet that should be full of people helping each other out.
Someone made a snarky comment.
I replied with something calm. Thoughtful.
Maybe even a little too earnest.
Then another guy jumped in and dropped the insult.
A grown man.
With a son.
That part stuck with me.
He’d posted elsewhere asking for help umpiring.
Clearly someone involved in youth sports—maybe even trying to be useful.
But here he was, ridiculing a stranger for internet points.
Performing toughness in front of the pack.
It stung. I won’t pretend it didn’t.
I’m 48. I’ve got a full life, some perspective, and a pretty good sense of who I am.
But there’s still that flash of heat.
The pull to clap back.
To match the energy.
To win.
Then I remembered what Mr. Miyagi told Daniel in The Karate Kid :
“You look revenge that way… start by digging two graves.”
That line always stuck with me.
Because the part of you that wants revenge?
It burns hot.
But it burns you too.
So I didn’t call him names.
I didn’t escalate.
I paused.
It wouldn’t have served me to pour energy into something destructive.
And I’ve learned: most people don’t leave enough space between the feeling and the reaction.
They just react .
That’s when people say things they wish they could take back.
Cooling down isn’t weakness.
It’s wisdom.
And here’s what really hit me:
I’m 48. I’ve got tools.
A mostly calm life.
And even for me, this felt gross.
So how does it feel...
to a 13-year-old?
What helps them pause?
What tells them not to take the bait?
What stops them from becoming just as cruel in return?
Maybe this happened so I could talk to my kids about it.
Not in theory.
From experience.
So I can say:
“Yeah, I’ve been there. It sucked.
Here’s what helped.
And here’s why we don’t use our energy to make the world uglier.”
Because that’s the lesson.
What I felt when a grown man tried to bully me online wasn’t shame.
It was sadness.
Sadness for the kind of man who needs the approval of strangers to feel powerful—
and finds that power by ridiculing others.
That kind of behavior speaks to low self-esteem.
To cruelty as armor.
To a lack of compassion dressed up as confidence.
I want to raise kids who don’t need to make others feel small to feel valuable.
Kids who know their worth comes from being helpful teammates—
on the field, online, and in life.
Because it’s all connected.
How you behave online?
It shows up in your real life.
And I want to raise kids who are proud of both.
Proud of who they are on the field.
Proud of who they are online.
Proud of how they treat people—everywhere.
“Know what’s enough. Build what matters.”
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