A Key Life Skill: Reflection as a Practice
Taking time to pause, think, and learn has shaped how I parent, coach, and lead. Reflection isn’t about judgment—it’s about curiosity, space, and the willingness to ask what could be better next time.
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You vs. You
I was talking with the other coaches recently, tossing around ideas to motivate the kids. Someone joked that if we ever won a tournament, maybe we should do something embarrassing, like shave our heads. The kids would love that, and maybe it would give them a little extra fire to win.
But later that night, I started thinking about what really drives people to win. Not just kids trying to earn a laugh from their coaches, but pros, the ones who have already made it.
Take the baseball players in the championship series right now. These guys are set for life financially. No one is cutting their paycheck if they don’t go 3-for-4. So what keeps them hungry? What makes someone like Michael Jordan come back from retirement, after winning three straight championships, and then win three more? How do you summon that level of motivation when you have already proven everything there is to prove?
That kind of drive doesn’t come from money or fame. It comes from something deeper. It is about being in competition with yourself, pushing to see how good you can get, how far you can go, how much better you can become.
Most people don’t realize it, but life is really just you versus you.
I hear people say things like, “I’m not good at that,” or “I can’t do that,” or “I’m terrible at this.” They are losing to themselves before the game even starts. Their own brain has become an opponent.
The problem is, you can’t escape it. You are with your own thoughts twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year. If your inner voice is harsh, critical, and negative, that is who you are living with. And honestly, who would choose to hang around someone like that?
If a friend constantly told you, “You’re not good enough. You can’t do this,” you would stop picking up their calls. So why accept that from your own mind?
I tell the kids all the time: your brain has to be your best friend.
If it is not, you will always be fighting uphill.
When you catch yourself in what Zig Ziglar used to call stinkin’ thinkin’, stop and reframe. Don’t say, “I can’t do this.” Say, “I can’t do this yet.”
That little word, yet, changes everything. It shifts the focus from defeat to growth. My daughter figured that out in the first grade when her teacher taught her about a growth versus a fixed mindset. She told me that instead of saying you can’t do it, you have to say you can’t do it yet.
That is it right there. The difference between people who keep growing and people who give up is often just the story they tell themselves.
The truth is, no one else can train your brain for you.
No one else can decide what kind of inner voice you live with.
It is you versus you, every single day.
But if you can turn that inner critic into a coach, someone who pushes, encourages, and believes in you, you start to see what is possible. That is how you grow into more than you are today, and it is how you honor the people who helped you get here. I wrote about that idea in Tribute to Frank Losi, because sometimes the best way to say thank you is to keep becoming better.
When you learn to do that, you start to become unstoppable.
“Know what’s enough. Build what matters.”
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